Saturday, December 18, 2004

Crackhead scene in Shaw

The following is a overdramatic scene of an incident that actually occurred recently.

Cue Martial Arts background music.

Close up of Shaolin Middle Class Master (SMCM) peering out of window and widescreen of SMCM rushing out of house to confront..... Crackhead Warrior who is urinating in the front yard of the adjoining rowhouse.

SMCM:<> What are you doing? (lips still moving)

Crackhead Warrior: Uh wha? I live here!

SMCM: I challenge you with my superb logic saying that it is wrong to pee in public!

Crackhead Warrior: Well I deflect your reasoning with my crackhead logic that says I have the right to pee.

SMCM: Argh! I am blinded by your crackhead logic with disbelief. So I will counter attack with my gossip & information spell. It will mark you and all who reside at your house as lawn peeing crackheads.

Crackhead Warrior: Ha ha! Your information spell has no effect on me for I have taken my magic crack which makes me oblivious to all reasoning! Buhahhhaha!

End scene.
The peeing in the front yard and the confrontation were real, the rest of the dialogue came from my imagination.


At 12/20/2004 3:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There were two crackheads lighting up ON MY FRONT PORCH between me and my front door when I came home from work one night. They were so engrossed with what they were doing that they didn't even see me until I was 3' from them. I just went to my door, and they left, most apologetic. I'm getting a baseball bat soon. - Jimbo

At 12/20/2004 3:34 PM, Blogger Mari said...

I think Ms. Manners would say the proper thing would be to say:
"Pardon me crackheads (or crackhos as the case may be), but could you please get the f*ck off the g-d#mned porch and smoke you $hit somewhere else. Thank you."

At 12/21/2004 11:01 AM, Blogger Nathan said...


I recommend a cricket bad. It adds a touch of international flair to the beatdown.

At 12/22/2004 12:11 AM, Blogger onlineguy said...

Ugh. The church across the street from me has a low wall that the crackheads and drunks stand behind to pee. Very thoughtful of them.
-- Andy

At 12/22/2004 7:27 AM, Blogger Mari said...

The sad thing was the crackhead's reasoning was he could pee in the front yard because he lived there.....
There is no doubt he was living there, but, in the house there is this thing. We call it a toilet. Typically it is in this room called a bathroom where there is plumbing, a wonderful thing plumbing.


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